Parenting Support
“The Significant Seven”
By H. Stephen Glenn & Dr. Jane Nelsen Ed.D.
from the book Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World
“Every human being is born with the potential to become the world’s most capable creature, not with the capabilities themselves. Unlike the amoeba, which is capable of functioning at its full potential from creation, humans acquire their capabilities primarily through apprenticeship: young human beings learn from those who have preceded them. When this apprenticeship is adequate, their toolboxes of life, which were empty at birth, are filled with the essential tools for effective living. In times of change, these tools, which we call life resources, are particularly critical. For convenience we usually refer to these assets as the Significant Seven.”
Significant Seven:
Universal research reveals that children who become successful adults posses the following abilities.
- I am confident of my personal capability when faced with challenges.
- I believe I am personally significant and make meaningful contributions.
- I have a positive influence over my life; I take responsibility for my choices.
- I have strong intrapersonal skills and I manage my emotions through self-awareness and self-discipline.
- I have strong interpersonal skills and I am able to effectively communicate, negotiate, and empathize with others.
- I am able to adapt with flexibility and integrity, I have strong systemic skills.
- I have well developed judgment skills and able to make decisions with integrity.
When you give your child encouragement, and the opportunity to learn and experiment on their own, you are nurturing their self-confidence and allowing them to discover they are capable individuals and able to make meaningful contributions to the family and to their world.
Excellence vs. Perfection
Nurturing excellence: is nurturing significance, meaning, value, and worth
Nurturing perfection: is demanding excellence without errors, flaws, or faults
Imagine you knew your life, or your children’s life, was significant, held meaning, value and worth.
Now imagine you knew that your life or your children’s life needed to be without errors, flaws or faults.
What would your daily internal dialogues be like in each of these scenarios?
Which life would you choose for yourself or your children?
Perfection is being right.
Excellence is being willing to be wrong.
Perfection is fear and anxiety.
Excellence is taking a risk
Perfection is anger and frustration.
Excellence is powerful
Perfection is control
Excellence is spontaneous
Perfection is judgment
Excellence is accepting
Perfection is taking
Excellence is giving
Perfection is doubt
Excellence is confidence
Perfection is pressure
Excellence is natural
Perfection opens the door to failure
Excellence sees a door, and welcomes opportunity
Perfection sees failure as a personal flaw
Excellence sees failure as an opportunity to learn
Perfection is the destination
Excellence is the journey
